My father had taught me to be nice first, because you can always be mean later, but once you’ve been mean to someone, they won’t believe the nice anymore. So be nice, be nice, until it’s time to stop being nice, then destroy them.
The hospital in which you were born is the only building you leave without entering.
Schools should have a “how to be an adult” class in which they taught how to manage taxes, mortgages, how to do resumés, and vital adult stuff.
You make me feel a little dirty, she said, and I fucking love it.
Michael Faudet (via michaelfaudet)
When faced with two choices, simply toss a coin. It works not because it settles the question for you, but because in that brief moment when the coin is in the air, you suddenly know what you are hoping for
